today

everything that is going on in my brain today:

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i feel very smart today.

cold coffee

finger down my throat
sick of who i am
and what i do
purge me of me

impossible,
impossible.

anger wrapped nicely in a paper towel

peanut butter on my face

misspoken thoughts echo in this space

tell it slant

why must i want to be known, to be understood? i ache to be heard, but i cower in my thoughts and hide in my dreams. i am known by God alone.

is that not enough?



----------------------

tell all the truth but tell it slant-

success in circuit lies

too bright for our infirm delight

the truth's superb surprise

as lightning to the children eased

with explanation kind

the truth must dazzle gradually

or every man be blind-

-e.d.-

wake up.

there are days when i wake up and say, gee annie, why don't you actually do something with your life. but i have to remind myself that even in these mundane things, i am doing something. i'm not out to serve myself, seek out only my desires. when i get lost in what i want, i get lost in the sorrows of this life. it's when i focus on others, focus on their interests that i see opportunities for my own to flourish and in turn the joy flourishes.

what is this life when we
look to me
and me
and me
my soul aches to be
free
to soar
to see

open my eyes

i search and i seek
but there is nothing to be found

empty hands and empty hearts

empty minds soon to follow