false reality

i want my life to be full. fulfilling. fulfilled. i live with little hope of doing something great; must i do something great, though? i want to be happy. i want to be content. i want to carry out some of my dreams. i want my dreams to be reality. i am lethargic. i am lazy. i am full of self pity. i am full of despair. i need to move, to move on, move out, move over. i am paralyzed by fear- fear of what? fear of strangers. fear of not knowing what to say, where to stand, when to speak, when to laugh, when to be quiet. i fear even those i love.
what a way to live.


do i have a choice? how do i break the walls around me, shatter the ceiling and fly free? i'm a caged bird.